I turned 26 last week and it suddenly dawned on me that it’s taken 26 years of my life to finally feel comfortable with my body. I spent a lot of my teens and early twenties trying to change myself, adding and taking away parts of my natural shine. I felt that I had nothing to give other than superficialities. To fit in, to feel wanted, but what really was I trying to ‘fit in’ with?
I wasn’t more than my appearance - until I found the ability to create art through photography.
I may have turned the camera on myself (mainly out of pure shyness and availability) but I began to see myself through a different lens (so to speak) and I realised that there was more to life than what I looked like. We are taught so many different ways of looking at ourselves, but the most important (according to the majority of mainstream media/and what has been ingrained into us*) has been the way we look. I would like that to change please. I am fed up of feeling like I have to look a certain way, I am so so so, so bored and drained from analysing myself, figuring out ways to change that might make me feel better. But that’s it. I am DONE. Done with hurting my happiness. Done with trying to glow just from the outside. I am bones, I am flesh, I am breath, I am power, I am knowledge and I have a lot more to say about this.
*I can feel/see that it’s shifting for the better (thanks to people like @bodyposipanda) but back when I was a teen it was engulfing and we still have a long way to go.
P.s NYC was amazing and I can’t wait for you to see my next Hotels with Holly. I shot this photo in our downtown Brooklyn airbnb apartment, which was so fricking cool!
P.p.s thank you all so much for the birthday wishes too!!!
P.p.p.s HAPPY HALLOWEEN!