Scorpio

I turned 26 last week and it suddenly dawned on me that it’s taken 26 years of my life to finally feel comfortable with my body. I spent a lot of my teens and early twenties trying to change myself, adding and taking away parts of my natural shine. I felt that I had nothing to give other than superficialities. To fit in, to feel wanted, but what really was I trying to ‘fit in’ with?

I wasn’t more than my appearance - until I found the ability to create art through photography.

I may have turned the camera on myself (mainly out of pure shyness and availability) but I began to see myself through a different lens (so to speak) and I realised that there was more to life than what I looked like. We are taught so many different ways of looking at ourselves, but the most important (according to the majority of mainstream media/and what has been ingrained into us*) has been the way we look. I would like that to change please. I am fed up of feeling like I have to look a certain way, I am so so so, so bored and drained from analysing myself, figuring out ways to change that might make me feel better. But that’s it. I am DONE. Done with hurting my happiness. Done with trying to glow just from the outside. I am bones, I am flesh, I am breath, I am power, I am knowledge and I have a lot more to say about this.

🦂♏️

*I can feel/see that it’s shifting for the better (thanks to people like @bodyposipanda) but back when I was a teen it was engulfing and we still have a long way to go.

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P.s NYC was amazing and I can’t wait for you to see my next Hotels with Holly. I shot this photo in our downtown Brooklyn airbnb apartment, which was so fricking cool!

P.p.s thank you all so much for the birthday wishes too!!!

P.p.p.s HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

DAY 6/7 - I see you

I’m sat here writing this with leaky eyes, a runny nose and sneezes a plenty. Today felt like an odd day to create, but we made it out eventually! (Even if both Jack & I are suffering with our colds now!) We headed over to Haysden this morning to shoot this, the weather was beautiful (to say we are in October?!) but the conditions were wrong and my brain was foggy.

Although this project is never a walk in the park, I’m happy, let’s see what tomorrow brings, ay!

(Tonight calls for tea and sleep, bring on the bat prop! 🦇😍)

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A short video of how we created it:

DAY 5/7 - (H)AIR

When all you wanted to do was to create hair out of a new (h)air plant you got, but you actually morph into beetlejuice!? hahaha! This just happened and I have no explanation as to why I created this other than the fact that when I bought this air plant in the garden centre a couple of weeks ago, it reminded me of hair and I thought to myself ‘one day i’ll photoshop this onto my head’ (because that’s just the way my brain works) and here we are… 1 air plant, 1 stripe t-shirt and an hour of photoshopping later = accidental/unintentional beetle juice costume! (or Krusty the clown perhaps?)

P.s I’ve never actually watched Beetlejuice, so I’m going to watch it tonight!

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DAY 4/7 - Knock Knock

This morning I laid in bed, tossing and turning (suffering with a bad back from all the editing) trying to come up with an idea for today’s image. I then hopped (*walked slowly with a hunched back) to the shower to cook up some ideas in there. When I’m struggling to channel my ideas, a shower usually does the trick!

I was thinking about the trip we took to Scotland (& the diamond shaped rock I found on the cairngorms), when I remembered this teeeeny little house we found in a park near Loch Lomond. I raced out of the shower and pulled up the stock images from my hard drive, and came across the cutest little tree house I ever did see! So I made it today’s mission to create with it, and here’s what I made!

Can I live here please?!

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DAY 3/7 - my world is changing

wow this is surreal, this took me by surprise, I didn’t expect to create like this today.

but i allowed it and i embraced it and i can feel my world altering, like the stars.

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A short behind the scenes film:

DAY 2/7 - IDENTITY

I have a chipped tooth. My lips are dry. I put big socks on this morning and have an indent in my shin. I’ve got tan lines from my summer shoes. My eyebrows are sparse. My legs are hairy. My eyes look tired and veiny. But I don’t really care, do you?

(I bet you zoomed in)

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To be continued...

There’s a behind the scenes over on my YouTube:

DAY 1/7 - TRANSITION

Autumn has always been a time of transitioning for me, for many reasons. The colours change, the clothes become thicker, the food gets warmer, and I become one year older. October - my birthday month, my favourite time of the year. There’s an air of contentment (probably the sweet smell of leaves throughout my house after creating this wreath this past week) and I feel I’ve been making all the right decisions.

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It’s here!!! My next 7 day self portrait challenge, use #7DAYSWITHHOLLY on socials, if you are joining in!

As always, here’s the behind the scenes of how I created this image -

TAKE CARE

On a spontaneous walk of the banks of Loch Ness we stumbled across this magnificent tree. The tree had been set alight previously and a huge hole carved into the base. There, upon the tree, read a sign, ‘TAKE CARE WHEN LIGHTING FIRES’. It sparked something inside of me so I nuzzled my way into the scorched wood and began shooting, not really knowing where it was going to take me.

I’ve been sitting on this image for a while now, again, not really knowing where to take it. But the more I look the more I see the smoke, the fire, the destruction, the moment that this tree could have lost it’s like on this earth, after living here for so long. The fragility of life is something I’ve been exploring recently, not by choice, but by observation of the experiences that our everyday entails. Life is precious, so pure, and we should not take that for granted.

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DENNIS

Meet my friend Dennis! - Sometimes you just need to shoot yourself riding a miniature yellow ceramic balloon dinosaur, ya'no?

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This was shot as part of my latest video - 'HOMESENSE PHOTOGRAPHY PROP CHALLENGE' where myself and Jo challenged ourselves to find a prop in Home Sense, create an idea and shoot it - all in the same day! It was so much fun, go check out the video below to see our decision making process & shooting: 

Also go follow Jo's instagram to see her image - Joanna Claire Photography

RECONNECT

 

Jack and I took some time to reconnect in front of the camera last week. It's been a little while since we've checked in like this, and it felt lovely to be able to see US again. It reminded me perfectly why I spend my life shooting couples, so they can see and feel that too.

(If anyone would like to book a more intimate couple shoot with me, drop me a message or visit www.hollyrose.co.uk)